Missing you, my love

This is a little story written in 2004 - my first story ever published - for which I won an award.

To see you again, my love, would be like a dream come true. 

It's been only a few months, but it feels like so much longer than that. 

You know I love you. I love you so warmly and deeply. 

And you know that I miss you.
I miss your lips, your hands, your face, and your smile. 

Reading your words every day is what keeps me going, 

and to know that I will see you again makes me so much stronger. 

But you know, my love, missing you isn't so bad; 

it simply reminds me that you are a part of me. 

Though our love feels like a dream, I know that you are real 

for no one can miss a dream this strongly.

Click here to read more about the boy I was missing so much.

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Thanks for reading xo

Falling in Love with a car Crash

"I hate the winter but I like the snow, it's hard to keep warm when it's cold out." I looked up at him and gave him a half smile.

"If you want I'll spend the rest of my winters keeping you warm."  He sat on the ground looking up at me. 

I was dancing in the snowfall and he was watching me, so intensly, as if taking notes in his mind. I wished that he would stop. The way he was watching me made me want to fall down into his arms. I hate falling. But I like his arms. 

"I wish you could be me, here, watching you." he said. 

I gave him a smile as if it mattered. Did I really want to live through his eyes? 

"I wish it were night and that the stars were out." I said changing the subject. 

He stood up and held me close. "If you're tired of the day, I'll be your night."  he whispered into my ear. 

I pulled away. "That's so cliché. What do like so much about me?" I asked him sincerely. 

He smiled. "Your hipbones and small wrists." he said sarcastically. I turned away and he grabbed my hand. "I don't want to be broken down by the sound of your silence." I couldn't turn to face him. "Why are you pushing me away?" he continued.

I looked at him and asked him if he'd ever been in a car crash. He nodded his head yes. I asked him if he'd ever eaten ice cream so fast that it made his head hurt. He nodded again and I continued. "Then why would you want to fall in love with me?" 

"Are you saying you're a car crash?" 

"Yes." I whispered. 

"I'll get an airbag" he said with a smile. 

"You might want to learn how to read a map before falling in love with me." I said, twirling a strand of hair around my finger and looking down at the snow on my boots."

"I'll stop for directions along the way." 

"But I talk to much." I whined. 

"I live to hear you speak." He thought for a moment and continued "Plus, I have earplugs." He laughed. 

"Are you enjoying this?" I asked him with tears in my eyes. 

He sighed. "What are you afraid of?" 

I heard every single word he said that night, and I fell for every single one of them. There was nothing left to say anymore - only the truth. 

"Of falling in love with you." I finally whispered back. 

"Would that be such a bad thing - to be in love?" He asked me. 

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think.

"I know you're scared" he continued "and I'm scared too." He paused for an answer, but I didn't give one.  "The way you make me feel scares the shit out of me; the way you make me smile, the way you make me feel alive, the way I can't think straight when you're around, the way you make butterflies run up and down my spine, all of it scares me, but what scares me even more is not having any of that." He admitted. 

I pulled myself together. ''But..." I paused and gathered my thoughts before continuing. "If I let myself fall in love with you - then what? I will have nothing left to fear." 

He looked up at me with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face "How do you feel about heights?" 

I laughed and walked closer to him. "I don't know. I can't think straight. I'm in love."

It Smells Like Winter

I went for a walk in the snow today. I looked out the window and saw a thin white blanket on the ground. It wasn't that cold out, but I decided to dress up anyway. There's just something about a walk in the snow that requires tuques, mittens, a scarf, and boots. There wasn't a lot of snow on the sidewalk so I decided to walk on people's lawn instead. I felt the need to see my tracks and hear the sound of my boots hitting the snow. I could smell wood burning away in stoves and fire places. I could see smoke coming out of chimneys. It reminded me of home, of hot chocolate and warmth. Which is odd because mom making a fire in the wood stove somehow always resulted in a smoke filled house, open windows, and me sitting on the couch, watching television in my winter jacket along with the rest of my winter apparel. 
I remember winter walks with my mom. I remember the smell of chimney smoke as we walked by every other house. I remember looking up at her and saying '' Hey Mama, it smells like winter ay?'' 
Every season seems to have its own scent. Every person does not use the same scent to describe a season. To me, the smell of rain is the spring. Sun tan lotion and barbecues smell like the summer. Pumpkin Pie, a roasting turkey, bread in the oven, and basically any type of home cooked meal smells like the fall. Maybe it's because mama used to cook a lot in the fall or maybe it's because of Thanksgiving. I'm not quite sure. But these are my scents and every time they pass me by, I remember. 
Walking today, snow on the ground, I could see my breath. I could smell the chimney smoke. I found myself remembering. I found myself whispering ''Hey Mama, it smells like winter ay?''

A Little bit About Little Love

I am a 26 year-old woman/girl from Canada. I have been writing for as long as I can remember. Some stories good, others bad. Though I have published works of poetry and articles in magazines, what I enjoy most of all  is story-telling. I am a big fan of fiction, as well non-fiction. But my all-time favorite stories are those inspired by real events, just like the story on my blog This Little Love of Mine.  It's a tale of true love found through the ups and downs of an odd non-friend friendship. Phil, my fiancé, and I met in 2004. It was love at first sight, or so we both claim. Only, it took four years for us to finally admit it to each other, but also to ourselves. We broke each other's hearts numerous times by fear of getting our own broken. When we tell this story to our friends, families, or even strangers, they can't believe everything we went through to finally end up together. But four years, two and a half months after meeting, Phil finally asked me those five little words: Will you be my girlfriend?

And we have been inseperable ever since. A year and eight months later, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Now, here we are planning a wedding. It turned out that all we needed to do was open our hearts to a story of love.

Open your heart to a story of love at This Little Love of Mine