Falling in Love with a car Crash

"I hate the winter but I like the snow, it's hard to keep warm when it's cold out." I looked up at him and gave him a half smile.

"If you want I'll spend the rest of my winters keeping you warm."  He sat on the ground looking up at me. 

I was dancing in the snowfall and he was watching me, so intensly, as if taking notes in his mind. I wished that he would stop. The way he was watching me made me want to fall down into his arms. I hate falling. But I like his arms. 

"I wish you could be me, here, watching you." he said. 

I gave him a smile as if it mattered. Did I really want to live through his eyes? 

"I wish it were night and that the stars were out." I said changing the subject. 

He stood up and held me close. "If you're tired of the day, I'll be your night."  he whispered into my ear. 

I pulled away. "That's so cliché. What do like so much about me?" I asked him sincerely. 

He smiled. "Your hipbones and small wrists." he said sarcastically. I turned away and he grabbed my hand. "I don't want to be broken down by the sound of your silence." I couldn't turn to face him. "Why are you pushing me away?" he continued.

I looked at him and asked him if he'd ever been in a car crash. He nodded his head yes. I asked him if he'd ever eaten ice cream so fast that it made his head hurt. He nodded again and I continued. "Then why would you want to fall in love with me?" 

"Are you saying you're a car crash?" 

"Yes." I whispered. 

"I'll get an airbag" he said with a smile. 

"You might want to learn how to read a map before falling in love with me." I said, twirling a strand of hair around my finger and looking down at the snow on my boots."

"I'll stop for directions along the way." 

"But I talk to much." I whined. 

"I live to hear you speak." He thought for a moment and continued "Plus, I have earplugs." He laughed. 

"Are you enjoying this?" I asked him with tears in my eyes. 

He sighed. "What are you afraid of?" 

I heard every single word he said that night, and I fell for every single one of them. There was nothing left to say anymore - only the truth. 

"Of falling in love with you." I finally whispered back. 

"Would that be such a bad thing - to be in love?" He asked me. 

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think.

"I know you're scared" he continued "and I'm scared too." He paused for an answer, but I didn't give one.  "The way you make me feel scares the shit out of me; the way you make me smile, the way you make me feel alive, the way I can't think straight when you're around, the way you make butterflies run up and down my spine, all of it scares me, but what scares me even more is not having any of that." He admitted. 

I pulled myself together. ''But..." I paused and gathered my thoughts before continuing. "If I let myself fall in love with you - then what? I will have nothing left to fear." 

He looked up at me with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face "How do you feel about heights?" 

I laughed and walked closer to him. "I don't know. I can't think straight. I'm in love."